“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! [S]ee if there be any grievous way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.” Ps 139:23-24
“How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them! If I would count them, they are more than the sand.” Ps 139:17-18
The Psalmist weaves the Wonder of God and his supplication (prayer, cry) to be found acceptable to Him. The Psalmist gives a pattern that can be followed in our prayer times and our “one on one” with our Lord.
A few hours ago I finished one of my weekly calls with my boss. My company calls these conversations One on Ones. They are designed and have the objective to not only chat but to review. They are not exactly “what have you missed on your assignments” or “here’s trouble on the horizon” but sometimes just to have conversation-to catch up being real people having a real relationship.
I miss doing that with Jesus. So many times my prayer is about “Please do this, provide for that, make peace/conviction/salvation in so and so’s life. Thank You for your provision, your favor, etc. etc.”
In a lot of ways my prayer time is so one-sided: me, me, me. I hardly can recall the last time I sat and listened for His still, small, voice. When was the last time I told God: “Lord-I love Your Word!! It is like honey to my lips. It is better than a perfectly grilled rib-eye slathered in creamy butter.” Or, “Your thoughts are a fortress to my mind. I can see clearly because Your Word transforms my mind and thoughts.”
When was the most recent time that I cried out: “See my heart! Search me! I want to know and understand if there is any grievous way in me. I want to CHANGE!”
When was the last time? Candidly I don’t remember: which probably means I haven’t prayed like that in a long while. Not a good and warm realization.
O Lord, my Lord: How majestic is Your Name! There is reason that the old words are good words. The Psalmist gives me phrases, good words to remember and define and pattern my conversation with You. The Psalmist also reminds me to be me; to not conform to rote chanting with the idea that a lot of words are pleasing to You. You also want me to have substance, conviction, to drag out of my chest my soul and bare it in front of You. I do not want to have a limp and passive relationship with You, O Lord. Pursuing You takes effort. Please keep me from being a slacker in Your Name. AMEN