Scripture: “You have kept count of my tossing’s; put my tears in your bottle.  (Are they not in your book?)  Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call.

This I know: that God is for me.

In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.  What can man do to me?

I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you.  For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life.” Ps 56:8-13

Observation: Digging out dark emotions and printing them for all to read isn’t for the faint of heart.  The Psalmist show his trust by doing just that: Candid and Transparent.

Analysis: By imitating godly men of faith someone could infer that guys like me might be trying to pridefully say “I am just like [so and so].  Couldn’t be further from the truth today—pride has nothing to do with it.

Candid and transparent: I have a long-standing battle with depression.  It is been well over 30 years now.  I take medicine daily and still have issues from time to time.  Today is one of those times.

This passage means quite a bit to me.  My tears are collected by God and, amazingly so, saved.  No stated reason; he just does.  He keeps count of my flopping around at night when sleep is hard to come by.  Why?  Don’t know that one either.

Depression is a funny thing: It make me feel all alone.  My wife is helpless because of it—she is there, trying to do whatever she can to pull me out, however deep or shallow I have sunk.  She tries, tries hard.

Here, though, is God.  It would be stupid and shortsighted to think he has abandoned me…but there have been times where I practiced, in a very focused manner, stupidity and shortsightedness.

How then, in the manner of the Psalmist, can I be assured of God being right there, that He is for me?

It is easy to say, “the Word”: “In God, whose WORD I praise; in God I trust.”  It is harder to stand on that in the bad times when I haven’t prepared for that in the good times.

My preparation doesn’t change the Character of God: He will be there, and I can trust in that.  My preparation pertains to the confidence I should have.

I know that I am not alone in this (because the Scriptures say I am not alone), but I forget His presence, I forget His promises, His mighty and stalwart Word.  Why?  Because the storms and fierce battles I am in fills my consciousness more than He does.

How do I counter that?  Study.  Pray. Meditate.  Talk about the Gospel.  Journal…and do these things in the calm times, for when the storms are bashing me against the seawall is not the time to successfully remember “Say to my soul, I am your salvation.”

Prayer: Father, thank you for the gift of a believing wife.  Thank you for the ways in which she cares for me and that in faith unto You.  Help me in this light and momentary affliction to be drawn out of it.  Remind me and say to my soul, just like David wrote, “I am your salvation.”  AMEN