Journal Ps 73-75 (all references are from the ESV; changes in punctuation are mine)

Scripture: “But as for me, my feet had almost stumbled, my steps had nearly slipped.  For I was envious of the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked…they are not in trouble as others are; they are not stricken like the rest of mankind…

They scoff and speak with malice; loftily they threaten oppression.  They set their mouths against the heavens, and their tongue struts through the earth.”

(I said to myself) “Behold, these are the wicked; always at ease, they increase in riches.  All in vain have I kept my heart clean and washed my hands in innocence.  For all the day long I have been stricken and rebuked every morning…

But when I thought how to understand this (it seemed to me a wearisome task), until I went into the sanctuary of God, then I discerned their end.

When my soul was embittered, when I was pricked in heart, I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you…Nevertheless, I am continually with you; you hold my right hand.  You guide me with your counsel, and afterward you will receive me to glory.

Whom have I in heaven but You?  And there is nothing (nothing!!) on earth that I desire besides you.”  (Excerpts from Ps 73:2-25)

Observation:  You see?  You see?  The Psalmist could be me!  These words could be my words.  These thoughts could be my thoughts.  These groanings and wailings could be mine.  But could I recite that last line with conviction?  Would those words be mine…?

Analysis:  I identify with weariness.  There are many times where I am just…plain…tired.

I struggle with depression.  By the Grace of God, he gave scientific minded guys the idea of medicine and I am very grateful.  But crawling into a hole and pulling the hole over my head isn’t my only response to weariness.

There are many times where bitterness grabs me around the throat.  I get like a brute: angry, fierce, arrogant in the ways of “I know better that what the wicked are showing”, and, guess what, I join the ranks of the wicked without even knowing what I did; without batting an eye.

These are the lessons to be learned from the Gospel: the Gospel is Good News, and….it is replete with bad news for man.

In a way of perception, the wicked are to be pitied, but, without celebration the wicked are doing what they are appointed to do (Romans 9).  This is the lesson of John 3:16: Jesus died that I may be redeemed.  But my humble question before Him is, “Thank you, Lord, but why me?  Why did you die…for me?”

Prayer:  Lord God, my God: I can cry out “Whom have I in heaven but You?  And there is nothing, NOTHING, on earth that I desire besides you.”  Help me to make this my oft cry; what sings in my mind, what resounds in my heart.  I want to wear that on my skin, in my eyes, sounding off my tongue all my days left on earth.  AMEN.