Refrain from anger, and forsake wrath! Fret not yourself; it tends only to evil. For the evildoers shall be cut off–but those who wait for the LORD shall inherit the land. (Psalm 37:8-9 ESV)
O Lord, all my longing is before you; my sighing is not hidden from you. My heart throbs; my strength fails me, and the light of my eyes—it also has gone from me. (Psalm 38:9-10 ESV)
But for you, O LORD, do I wait; it is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. (Psalm 38:15 ESV)
These are two Psalms that are pretty well related. David is in there, digging deep into what he analyzes about himself according to the Scriptures, meditation, and doctrine he knows. He is being not only transparent to God about himself; he is being transparent to himself through the eyes of the Holy Spirit—both identifying the Bounty and Grace of God but also identifying what separates David from that selfsame Grace.
An application that I did not really come to grips with clarity until recently (thanks, Jason) was that the “wicked” wasn’t someone that wasn’t me. The “wicked” weren’t “those guys who weren’t saved.” My actions define “righteous” and “wicked.” I am not referring to being Justified before God through the Propitiation of Jesus—separate issue. I am talking about my day to day walk; walking worthy of the Gospel. Sometimes, like David, I walk wickedly and if it wasn’t for the Blood, I would be counted among the eternally wicked. As it is, it’s only sometimes that I walk wickedly—potentially from the moment I wake to (and maybe through) time to sleep. But the Scriptures are a means of encouragement and encourage me they do. I know that my longing before God is not hidden; my sorrow and regret for the wicked thing that I did (my sighing) is seen and noticed. The pounding of my heart, my failing strength, when the darkness threatens to overwhelm me—is seen by the Holy Spirit; I am comforted. When my confession in prayer rises concerning my immediate sin, HE hears, is pleased, and will be my sure help in time of trouble. I may have to pay for the consequences of my sin but I am NEVER forsaken.
Father: You see all my comings and goings; every murmur in my tongue; every stray dart of my eyes; every untoward thought that isn’t pleasing and honoring to my Master. Miraculously, I am not struck down. I am not abandoned. I am still adopted as a son. I am still being loved. I am still being fashioned into the Image of my Lord Jesus. You do not give up on me—knowing my frame and what I am made of and the inherent rebellious and traitorous heart I have—You are committed to completing a Good Work in me; a Work Your started. May every day bring me cooperating fully and with abandoned surrender to Your sanctifying work towards my behalf; so that to the End of Days I, with great enthusiasm, throw my crown at your feet and declare “Only You are Worthy to receive honor and glory forevermore.”