Rom. 7:15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.
Paul, the greatest church planting missionary of all time expresses a frustration that everyone of us have. We are a new person in Christ, yet we continue to do the very things we hate and struggle to do the things we know we should. Paul actually says he “wants” to do the right thing yet ends up doing the thing he “hates”.
The use of want and hate is interesting. The question I would pose to Paul is, “If you really hate it why are you doing it? And if you really want to do the right thing, why don’t you do it.” It seems very simple until I apply it to my own life. I find myself where Paul is many times. Too often. Thoughts, words, actions, emotions, fears… none of which I really want to have as part of my life start to come creeping back. Yet in my right mind, when surrounded by support and living in a clear reality that God is with me and within me, none of these thoughts, emotions, fears are appealing whatsoever. Yet here I sit. This passage reminds us that I am not alone in this, and either are you. As long as we live on earth and in our flesh we will battle with this. Today I am drawing a line down a piece of paper and writing the things I hate and the things I actually want to do. My life is not defined by my ability to master my weaknesses and accentuate my strengths. The truth is I am defined by the victory Christ claimed 2,000 years ago when He delivered me from this body of death through the crucifixion and resurrection! No temptation has seized me today except what is common to man today. (1 Cor. 10:13). May I seek to find the way out and stand up under the resurrecting power of Christ.
Father, I know I am not alone in this life. I know I am here for a purpose. I know it isn’t to do the things I despise, but rather do the things you have called me to do for your glory. Lead me today and may I realize that the battle is already won.